Saturday, October 31, 2009
Quote #3
“If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Stressed out
I'm so stressed out with life right now.
i should be writing 2 important papers right now.
but i'm not because i'm so stressed out i dont know where to start!
i feel like something has been messing around with me.
not God, of course.
But i feel like he might be punishing me for something that i did.
or he may be giving me signs about... CARS! especially all the traffic i've been getting into.
3 days in a row already.
caused me my show "Ragtime" to be postponed! i wanted/needed to see it today so i could have it out of the way, now i have to see it on Thursday. which decreases my time to finish the papers that i should be starting soon/done with.
*sigh* i'm glad ochem exam was over or else i would be freaking out even more!
*sigh* ok. done releasing my stress... now onto writing papers/lab reports!
i should be writing 2 important papers right now.
but i'm not because i'm so stressed out i dont know where to start!
i feel like something has been messing around with me.
not God, of course.
But i feel like he might be punishing me for something that i did.
or he may be giving me signs about... CARS! especially all the traffic i've been getting into.
3 days in a row already.
caused me my show "Ragtime" to be postponed! i wanted/needed to see it today so i could have it out of the way, now i have to see it on Thursday. which decreases my time to finish the papers that i should be starting soon/done with.
*sigh* i'm glad ochem exam was over or else i would be freaking out even more!
*sigh* ok. done releasing my stress... now onto writing papers/lab reports!
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Beginning of my... [Blank]? Quote #1
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Ralph Waldo EmersonSaturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Devious, Calculated, Deceitful, etc...
The continuation of the type of person I hate most [look at the title of this post].
People. Homo sapiens. People. Human Beings. People. They are all scary.
You never know what type of People are out they and you never know when you [will] meet them.
As far as my memory goes, I have never befriended someone who "cheated" me.
"Cheated" and "Used" are two separate things for me.
You get used more in life than cheated (in my opinion) because it is easier!
It sucks to know that you got "Cheated!"
It can be anyone. A friend of a friend. A long lost friend. A distant relative. & Even your best friend since high school! (I mean, who would have thought! all these people... *sigh*)
There are two stories that I want to tell, relating to being cheated.
The first one goes a little something like this:
There once was a girl named M. She was a week away from getting married! She had 2 bridesmaid and the maid of honor, who was her best friend since high school named A. The lucky and awesome groom bought her an expensive ring, Price: 2,000. He gave M the money. M puts it in her purse, with A in the room. A day before the wedding, THE MONEY WAS GONE. Who could have taken it? Everyone looked everywhere for it! It was no where to be found. The only person that knew about the money other than M and the groom was A! She didn't confess. The wedding was fun. But A couldnt be trusted with anything throughout that night. They never spoke to each other again...
STORY #2:
4 people: Boss 1, Boss 2, Hi, and Lo.
Lo works for Boss 1.
Boss 1 is friends with Boss 2.
Lo and Hi are best friends.
They all became friends.
Boss 1 treats Lo really bad at work. Makes Lo clean the toilet when it's not Lo's job, which is to cook. Lo is sick of working for Boss 1.
Something happened between Boss 1 and Boss 2. They have some beef going on. They stopped talking.
Boss 2 talks to Lo. Persuading Lo to become a Boss instead of being a lousy servant.
This sounds good with Lo. Hi and Lo talked. They both agreed!
Lo goes to Boss 1 to QUIT! Boss 1 pleaded Lo to stay and said sorry! But no, Lo was sick of it.
Now, Boss 2, Hi, and Lo are friends. They go have fun. Boss 2 showed them a place to go make plans for the two new Bosses, Hi and Lo.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, this Boss 2, creates trouble for Lo and Hi. Dissing them. Calling them stupid pigs who sits at home and know nothing about the world.
Hi and Lo are so confused. They don't know what to do! They prayed to God asking for some guidance on whether or not they should continue on with this plan.
Lo finally figured it out/put things together, the new place does not cost 35,000! They are being cheated!
Luckily Lo was smart and quickly backed out before it was too late!
Hi and Lo stopped talking to Boss 2. Lo regretted quitting Boss 1. Lo can't go back now.
Nothing to do, but to look for a new job!
So just as a reminder, in this world, you can't trust anyone! There is only you who you can rely on, and then there is GOD. Sometimes family can do you wrong. Therefore, trust no one but yourself.
People. Homo sapiens. People. Human Beings. People. They are all scary.
You never know what type of People are out they and you never know when you [will] meet them.
As far as my memory goes, I have never befriended someone who "cheated" me.
"Cheated" and "Used" are two separate things for me.
CHEATEDSo this is my definitions/examples of "CHEATED" and "USED."USED
- Steals my money and FLEE! [or just act like nothing happened and don't know about it]
- Being lied to.
- Not knowing that the person you're "nice" to has a different agenda and you're just a pawn.
- Asks for rides just so you can get somewhere.
- "Borrows" money and never returns it.
- Being my friend just so you can cheat off of me!
- You are too nice to say "No."
- This is more of a "You know you are being treated bad, BUT/AND you are willing to do it/stay."
You get used more in life than cheated (in my opinion) because it is easier!
It sucks to know that you got "Cheated!"
It can be anyone. A friend of a friend. A long lost friend. A distant relative. & Even your best friend since high school! (I mean, who would have thought! all these people... *sigh*)
There are two stories that I want to tell, relating to being cheated.
The first one goes a little something like this:
There once was a girl named M. She was a week away from getting married! She had 2 bridesmaid and the maid of honor, who was her best friend since high school named A. The lucky and awesome groom bought her an expensive ring, Price: 2,000. He gave M the money. M puts it in her purse, with A in the room. A day before the wedding, THE MONEY WAS GONE. Who could have taken it? Everyone looked everywhere for it! It was no where to be found. The only person that knew about the money other than M and the groom was A! She didn't confess. The wedding was fun. But A couldnt be trusted with anything throughout that night. They never spoke to each other again...
STORY #2:
4 people: Boss 1, Boss 2, Hi, and Lo.
Lo works for Boss 1.
Boss 1 is friends with Boss 2.
Lo and Hi are best friends.
They all became friends.
Boss 1 treats Lo really bad at work. Makes Lo clean the toilet when it's not Lo's job, which is to cook. Lo is sick of working for Boss 1.
Something happened between Boss 1 and Boss 2. They have some beef going on. They stopped talking.
Boss 2 talks to Lo. Persuading Lo to become a Boss instead of being a lousy servant.
This sounds good with Lo. Hi and Lo talked. They both agreed!
Lo goes to Boss 1 to QUIT! Boss 1 pleaded Lo to stay and said sorry! But no, Lo was sick of it.
Now, Boss 2, Hi, and Lo are friends. They go have fun. Boss 2 showed them a place to go make plans for the two new Bosses, Hi and Lo.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, this Boss 2, creates trouble for Lo and Hi. Dissing them. Calling them stupid pigs who sits at home and know nothing about the world.
Hi and Lo are so confused. They don't know what to do! They prayed to God asking for some guidance on whether or not they should continue on with this plan.
Lo finally figured it out/put things together, the new place does not cost 35,000! They are being cheated!
Luckily Lo was smart and quickly backed out before it was too late!
Hi and Lo stopped talking to Boss 2. Lo regretted quitting Boss 1. Lo can't go back now.
Nothing to do, but to look for a new job!
So just as a reminder, in this world, you can't trust anyone! There is only you who you can rely on, and then there is GOD. Sometimes family can do you wrong. Therefore, trust no one but yourself.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Coming of FALL BREAK!
Wow. the past few days at school were so long! one day i was like... "IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY!?" haha horrible horrible week. But it's all over now. i was so glad it was friday when it was friday. haah. i got out of class at 11! it was awesome. i did some last minute things. Ate at Thai Ginger with some people. then i went home, took a nap. Met up with some people to go eat at Esan! man it was like a freakin' THAI FOOD ALL YOU CAN EAT DAY! and seriously. i really do hate thai food WITH A PASSION! but i'll still go just to hang out. unless something is wrong and i'm being a lame ass then i would refuse to go. anywho, after thai food, had dessert aka skinnidip! always good. i dont know why other people dont like it. w/e different people, different taste. we can't expect people to like everything you like! now that wouldnt be fun would it!? welll after that, i realized that the people that i was supposed to meet at OSU, didnt even leave PDX yet when i was about to leave! on the way there, there were no cops, some lame traffic, a lame car with two lame guys trying to mess around with me (that was scary). but no worries, got to OSU safely, without a scratch. sadly, my front right tire got FLAT! had the guys fix it for me. haha... it was like a bad saturday. my friend's car's tire was torn! so he had to go buy a new tire. so sad... just our luck! it was a fun weekend though. get to chill with friends, learned how to play BP (still vague...) and king's Cup! haha.
overall, it was a dramatic weekend. i got scared 3 times i think, 1) knocking on the bathroom door when i was using it, 2) chris flinging a "rat" aka a freakin leaf at me and i screamed, 3) my friend's boyfriend freakin scared me when i walked passed the hallway, dropped my stuff and ran away. haha. man i get scared so easily! it felt like my heart jumped out of my body!
haha random but my mother just called me "princess!" my friend is right! i get treated like one at home and there! thanks a lot though. seriously, i dont know what to do! i dont cook cuz i dont need to. i feel like i could if i try and need to do it. but home is home, food is already made by the mothers. no need for some burnt stuff made by amateurs.
had a talk about boyfriends, uhhh i dont want one as for the moment. i feel like if i do get one, it would ruin many/a lot of my friendships with people. you can say that im the type of person that would do anything for her friends, no matter what. i'm very loyal, therefore, my bf would take over me haha. i'm not gonna lie, but a lot/ almost everyone say that "I won't let my bf/gf get in the way of our friendship" but usually it does! no matter how hard you try, that other friend(s) would still feel awkward around you guys or even just around you. so yea. boyfriend, i'm not ready for.
sometimes, things dont go the way you want it to go. and all you can do is JUST LET GO! there's nothing to do when it is time to let go, but to LET GO! haha i hope that makes sense. i'm being hypocritical cuz i need to let go... of things too. it's just really hard. you dont know how hard it is until you feel it. no one will ever get me. man, suddenly im getting emotional. i didnt think talking about this topic would get me tearing up! i've given up, let go of things... things that i shouldnt even think about anymore, but it's still there. why?! it seems like i have a problem. no one knows about it. its not that i dont trust my friends to tell/talk to them about this. its becasue im scared. i dont know waht to think anymore. *sigh* i've just been keeping this to myself cuz i'm so afraid of what's gonna happen later on. hurting myself is the best solution.
anywho, iono why i ended up talking about this. people said i changed. i myself, dont think so. or maybe i did!? but to me, i think it depends on the time. the time as in: what day, what occasion, or where/what we are doing...? AND my mood, if im pissed off, i can be the tension of the atmosphere. if im happy, then no worries. if im annoyed, you better not annoy me some more, or else i'll be an ass to you. i hate people crying, therefore, i try not to cry in front of people. makes thing less awkward for other people! gotta be considerate now! i cant always be selfish! can't always think about myself! i hate it when people plan ahead to get things their way... it's so devious! oh i hate those type of people.
now onto something a lil bit different. i have a thing with attraction. if there is one, i'll fight for you. sometimes, i would be wrong. wrong meaning, you're the wrong person for me, i cant be your friend. i figure this out usually at first sight. but my last case, it took me 2 months. i dont regret it. it was just a waste of my time. a waste of my effort. a waste of my sincerity. all this to find that this person is thee biggest jerk/asshole/bitch/etc!!! i think i'm done with fighting. i've lost too many. i dont want to fight anymore...
isn't it funny how this weekend made me think about so many things!?
overall, it was a dramatic weekend. i got scared 3 times i think, 1) knocking on the bathroom door when i was using it, 2) chris flinging a "rat" aka a freakin leaf at me and i screamed, 3) my friend's boyfriend freakin scared me when i walked passed the hallway, dropped my stuff and ran away. haha. man i get scared so easily! it felt like my heart jumped out of my body!
haha random but my mother just called me "princess!" my friend is right! i get treated like one at home and there! thanks a lot though. seriously, i dont know what to do! i dont cook cuz i dont need to. i feel like i could if i try and need to do it. but home is home, food is already made by the mothers. no need for some burnt stuff made by amateurs.
had a talk about boyfriends, uhhh i dont want one as for the moment. i feel like if i do get one, it would ruin many/a lot of my friendships with people. you can say that im the type of person that would do anything for her friends, no matter what. i'm very loyal, therefore, my bf would take over me haha. i'm not gonna lie, but a lot/ almost everyone say that "I won't let my bf/gf get in the way of our friendship" but usually it does! no matter how hard you try, that other friend(s) would still feel awkward around you guys or even just around you. so yea. boyfriend, i'm not ready for.
sometimes, things dont go the way you want it to go. and all you can do is JUST LET GO! there's nothing to do when it is time to let go, but to LET GO! haha i hope that makes sense. i'm being hypocritical cuz i need to let go... of things too. it's just really hard. you dont know how hard it is until you feel it. no one will ever get me. man, suddenly im getting emotional. i didnt think talking about this topic would get me tearing up! i've given up, let go of things... things that i shouldnt even think about anymore, but it's still there. why?! it seems like i have a problem. no one knows about it. its not that i dont trust my friends to tell/talk to them about this. its becasue im scared. i dont know waht to think anymore. *sigh* i've just been keeping this to myself cuz i'm so afraid of what's gonna happen later on. hurting myself is the best solution.
anywho, iono why i ended up talking about this. people said i changed. i myself, dont think so. or maybe i did!? but to me, i think it depends on the time. the time as in: what day, what occasion, or where/what we are doing...? AND my mood, if im pissed off, i can be the tension of the atmosphere. if im happy, then no worries. if im annoyed, you better not annoy me some more, or else i'll be an ass to you. i hate people crying, therefore, i try not to cry in front of people. makes thing less awkward for other people! gotta be considerate now! i cant always be selfish! can't always think about myself! i hate it when people plan ahead to get things their way... it's so devious! oh i hate those type of people.
now onto something a lil bit different. i have a thing with attraction. if there is one, i'll fight for you. sometimes, i would be wrong. wrong meaning, you're the wrong person for me, i cant be your friend. i figure this out usually at first sight. but my last case, it took me 2 months. i dont regret it. it was just a waste of my time. a waste of my effort. a waste of my sincerity. all this to find that this person is thee biggest jerk/asshole/bitch/etc!!! i think i'm done with fighting. i've lost too many. i dont want to fight anymore...
isn't it funny how this weekend made me think about so many things!?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thao and the Get Down Stay Down
one of my favorite bands!
here's one of Thao Nguyen's new song: When We Swam
here's one of Thao Nguyen's new song: When We Swam
Saturday, October 10, 2009
october 10th.
well, today is my dad's birthday, 58 if i'm not mistaken. i know this might be all over fb and twitter, but it's a big deal for me. sometimes i dont know what to think. it's always sad for me to think about it, the fact that my dad is gone and was not in my life for 17 years. the first 2.5 years does not count at all since i do not remember anything at all! sometimes i ask God why he had to take him away so early. why cancer? why? there are so many things that i do not understand when it comes to this. it is not fair. but life is not fair is it?
well i've been getting good at letting go of the past. my dad is one of them. the positive way of thinking about this is: I'm glad God took him away to be with Him, instead of living here being in pain and suffering. i guess it was time.
i'm glad i had that 2.5 years with him before he left us. i feel bad for my sister, who barely spent time with him, 4 months... i wonder how she feels. i dont ask because it's not the subject that i want to bring up and talk about... i know we are both sensitive people... so yea.
the only thing i can do now is to pray for blessings and grace, and hope that God and my dad and my grandmas are looking after me and the rest of the family.
well i cant forget about my dad's twin! it's his birthday too. hope he's doing well.
it's sad because i dont talk to my dad's side of the family often. i dont know why. maybe because i didnt grow up with them, which makes sense cuz dad wasnt here... but now i'm beginning to not talk to my mom's side either. i guess when you grow up you tend to grow far apart from your family... maybe it's just me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD & UNCLE PHU!
well i've been getting good at letting go of the past. my dad is one of them. the positive way of thinking about this is: I'm glad God took him away to be with Him, instead of living here being in pain and suffering. i guess it was time.
i'm glad i had that 2.5 years with him before he left us. i feel bad for my sister, who barely spent time with him, 4 months... i wonder how she feels. i dont ask because it's not the subject that i want to bring up and talk about... i know we are both sensitive people... so yea.
the only thing i can do now is to pray for blessings and grace, and hope that God and my dad and my grandmas are looking after me and the rest of the family.
well i cant forget about my dad's twin! it's his birthday too. hope he's doing well.
it's sad because i dont talk to my dad's side of the family often. i dont know why. maybe because i didnt grow up with them, which makes sense cuz dad wasnt here... but now i'm beginning to not talk to my mom's side either. i guess when you grow up you tend to grow far apart from your family... maybe it's just me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD & UNCLE PHU!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
pain
it's one of those times again. where pain comes into play in my life... weekly! if im lucky, monthly.
oh it hurts.
is it the food?
is it the lack of exercise?
is it the lack of sleep?
is it due to deterioration?
or is it for being sinful?
no remedy, no doctor, can fix this.
(but what do i know... since i dont seek help)
what is it you might ask?
the pain - physically, spiritually and mentally.
PS - just something random I thought about recently...
wouldnt it be scary to find out that your friend/lover/iono bf, gf, bff, etc... have been lying to you about who they are for most of the relationship? that would be scary. lies are no good. it wouldnt be good if the person found out the truth. and it wouldnt be good if the person doesnt find out, cuz you are only lying to yourself at that point. so why was i thinking about this topic? cuz i hate liars. i know i lied in the past. more like digression. but i like things to be truthful from now on. but who listens!? blah blah blah...
oh it hurts.
is it the food?
is it the lack of exercise?
is it the lack of sleep?
is it due to deterioration?
or is it for being sinful?
no remedy, no doctor, can fix this.
(but what do i know... since i dont seek help)
what is it you might ask?
the pain - physically, spiritually and mentally.
PS - just something random I thought about recently...
wouldnt it be scary to find out that your friend/lover/iono bf, gf, bff, etc... have been lying to you about who they are for most of the relationship? that would be scary. lies are no good. it wouldnt be good if the person found out the truth. and it wouldnt be good if the person doesnt find out, cuz you are only lying to yourself at that point. so why was i thinking about this topic? cuz i hate liars. i know i lied in the past. more like digression. but i like things to be truthful from now on. but who listens!? blah blah blah...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Updates!
Homecoming game night 10/02/09
Pictures taken from Brian Vu
Homecoming NIGHT 10/03/09
"Toast to the night!" ___________ Pictures taken from Brian Vu
This was pretty much the highlight of the week! (my week, at least)
Homecoming wasn't that great for me, but for the boys I think it was great. (Don't know about Chris though, sorry! It was so hot and I'm not a dancing person... haha)
Anywho, today, monday, I got my test in Ochem back... 87%! way better than my first one, which was 67%? haha. If it wasn't for my lame doubts, I would have gotten an A! 96% or something! OH well, next test! For bib trad (biblical tradition & culture, Theology 205), I got 98% on the first exam! haha. Freaking out on the paper that is due this week and the QUIZ! FYI, this is not an easy class; one of the hardest class at UP! *sigh* Physiology is not starting out too well. need to change that F to an A! (that's the spirit!).
Time to let go, and MOVE ON! - there's no point in thinking of the past when it's already over. Once it's over, relax and enjoy the rest of your day/life. The main point is to enjoy learning new things and understanding it rather than caring/sweating over the GRADE and forget everything later on! Just something my dean told me when I went to him for an interview about study abroad. Interesting guy with interesting questions. For those who don't know, I'm planning on going to London this summer - taking 6 credits of upper division biology over there for about 6 weeks. I dont know if it's a good idea, but right now, my heart is wanting to go. So, I'm just following my heart for the time being.
So, I can't wait for Fall break! Not because of my birthday. It's never because of that. I remember last year, I totally forgot about my birthday until someone talked about it like 2 days before it. This year, it's totally different! Everyone is just asking "what do you want for your bday!?" It's nice of them, but really, I really want nothing. Hanging out with friends and PEACE&LOVE! haha. If you can find me a nice boy, that would be great! JK. don't want a boyfriend yet. I feel like, it wont be anytime soon. Being in a relationship, messes w/ friendships. It's either Boy/Girl vs. Friends. I hate that. But i guess, i need to grow up. cant have friends there with me forever! at some point, they will leave. depends on the lame time.
but enough about this. TIME FOR HW/STUDYING!
:)
Pictures taken from Brian Vu
Homecoming NIGHT 10/03/09
"Toast to the night!" ___________ Pictures taken from Brian Vu
This was pretty much the highlight of the week! (my week, at least)
Homecoming wasn't that great for me, but for the boys I think it was great. (Don't know about Chris though, sorry! It was so hot and I'm not a dancing person... haha)
Anywho, today, monday, I got my test in Ochem back... 87%! way better than my first one, which was 67%? haha. If it wasn't for my lame doubts, I would have gotten an A! 96% or something! OH well, next test! For bib trad (biblical tradition & culture, Theology 205), I got 98% on the first exam! haha. Freaking out on the paper that is due this week and the QUIZ! FYI, this is not an easy class; one of the hardest class at UP! *sigh* Physiology is not starting out too well. need to change that F to an A! (that's the spirit!).
Time to let go, and MOVE ON! - there's no point in thinking of the past when it's already over. Once it's over, relax and enjoy the rest of your day/life. The main point is to enjoy learning new things and understanding it rather than caring/sweating over the GRADE and forget everything later on! Just something my dean told me when I went to him for an interview about study abroad. Interesting guy with interesting questions. For those who don't know, I'm planning on going to London this summer - taking 6 credits of upper division biology over there for about 6 weeks. I dont know if it's a good idea, but right now, my heart is wanting to go. So, I'm just following my heart for the time being.
So, I can't wait for Fall break! Not because of my birthday. It's never because of that. I remember last year, I totally forgot about my birthday until someone talked about it like 2 days before it. This year, it's totally different! Everyone is just asking "what do you want for your bday!?" It's nice of them, but really, I really want nothing. Hanging out with friends and PEACE&LOVE! haha. If you can find me a nice boy, that would be great! JK. don't want a boyfriend yet. I feel like, it wont be anytime soon. Being in a relationship, messes w/ friendships. It's either Boy/Girl vs. Friends. I hate that. But i guess, i need to grow up. cant have friends there with me forever! at some point, they will leave. depends on the lame time.
but enough about this. TIME FOR HW/STUDYING!
:)
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