Follow up/Differences/Phobias!

So. I've finished the book. It was awesome. I cried a couple of times. I was shocked when I found out the "reason" for everything. It all adds up! I should have known. Oh how "life goes on..."
My next book is Angels & Demons. I'm lazy to start it today, maybe tomorrow.

So I need to finally call up the person so I can return the book. I almost did it today, but I chickened out and didn't do it. *sigh* I'll do it tomorrow! Hopefully, I won't back down. Why am I so nervous/scared?! Must be because... of that last encounter we had... It was weird. Like they were mad at me or something (I hate that feeling)... I guess I'm just scared of facing the truth/the reason. Or maybe it's nothing and I'm just overthinking things. I won't know unless I confront them right!? Right.

Haha, it must be annoying to have someone question you all the time. But that's the only way to communicate. If you don't ask, how the heck are you suppose to know!? People can't read minds! Believe me, I once thought mind reading was easy. Apparently, it's not as easy as it seems.

One thing to keep in mind, no one is you. You think the world would be awesome and would run smoothly if everyone was like you, right? Hate to be the one to break the news to you, but THANK GOD everyone is different. The world would collapse if everyone was like me - weak/fragile/indecisive/passive/follower.

I hope that one day my fears would disappear. I have a lot of phobias that I've never mentioned. Some are stupid and ridiculous, but yes, I do fear them. One thing, I for sure do not fear is DEATH. If it comes, it comes. That's crazy right? Me, Diane Phan, does not fear Death. haha. I know a lot of people do. It's normal. Maybe, I'm just the weird one. I don't fear Death, but the way I die is an issue. I don't want to be scared to death - monsters, ghosts, etc... you know, all the fantasy stuff from movies. I hate those. I don't believe in them, but I always get paranoid after movies... but they are so fun to watch! So I guess phenomenological things scares me - phobia #1.
Phobia #2 - everyone knows this or should if you were ever in my classes: SPEECHES aka PUBLIC SPEAKING! It's nerve wrecking & makes me nauseous. The anxiety (attack) I get before my turn or even the day before! Argentum nitricum helps me, but I stopped using it a long time ago... *sigh*
Phobia #3 - Animals. Why? I have no clue. I used to have a black dog when I was little, probably around 4-7 ish? I remember it was a small puppy when we first got it, then it grew really big! I don't remember playing with it at all! Did I ever play with it? I'm not sure, but one day, it was gone, either he/she ran away or my uncle dropped him/her off somewhere... I don't see how this shows my fear of animals, but that was the only pet... so far. I've been having thoughts (could have been me daydreaming or just a dream) about owning a dog and living in a condo... you know one of those downtown/pearl district area? haha. I know unbelievable. But yes, back to fear of animals... maybe it's because I'm scared of getting bit, poked in the eye by a bird, or eaten/killed! haha. Who knows.
Anywho, phobia #4 - as you may all know I'm a Germophobic so therefore I'm scared of germs! There a lot of reasons: Germs + weak immune system = sick. Sick = bedridden aka can't go to school = bad grades. bad grades = no medical school/dental school or w/e I decide I want to do! Also, I don't want to get infected by other people or the other way around. So that's the reason why I don't like sharing food/drinks. So don't give me the weird look or think that I don't like you or w/e. It's for the best. [I know germs are everywhere and it can't be avoided, but it can be prevented from spreading so be wise and wash your hands and be safe! haha.
I have other small phobias. I can't think of any right now, but I just know that there's more. BUT these are the BIG ones!