Nearing the end of summer.

I must say, this summer has been the best summer yet. Out of all my summers, this one would be the most memorable. I've done things that I have never done in my life! It's crazy. I've met a lot of people too. I don't even remember most of their names, but I'll remember some faces and maybe need a little bit of a reminder to refresh my memory.

I had a lot of freedom while my mother was gone. That time period has got to be "THE TIME." I did a lot of things. I didn't hang out with my friends though, maybe once or twice for a whole month, but not too often. What did I do? Had some intimate bonding and reflection time w/ myself and one other person. They helped me realized that there's more to life than what I think it was. That I can be myself and be loved. And the best part, trying to pick things out of me for all the right reasons. Somehow they know I keep things to myself and they made me feel less tense about things: "Whenever you're ready to talk. It can be whenever and it doesn't have to be me... It's better to spill it out then to keep it bottled inside." I'm grateful to have them come in my life. Though, I am pretty sad lately. I haven't seen nor talked to them since my California trip. No, there was one time after that, but we didn't talk much, just a "Hi" that was directed to me then I was kind of busy to talk more since I was at work and they were on the phone. We haven't talked since. Did I do something wrong? I'm too scared to call & I don't want to text because they hate texting. *sigh* what to do!?! I don't know. This has been killing me ever since. I tried keeping myself occupy with things to do, but lately a lot has popped up reminding me of them. It's crazy. I know I'm crazy. *sigh* This is bad.

I'm glad my friends are around, especially my two best friends, even though one is not always here, but is, in a way & the other has problems of their own. I feel like both really do care for me, each of them with total opposite personalities play a different role in my life. I want them to know that I love them very much and I'll always be there, I hope no matter what, but for sure I will in spirit if I really can't make it there. I know we might have had some misunderstandings and whatnot along the way, but it was only to build this awesome relationship... stronger. I hope you guys feel the same way. Otherwise, I'm a fool for saying all this. I have a feeling that one of you or maybe even both would say that you hate me for not telling you things, mostly about my feelings/my thoughts. It's hard you know? For me to complain to people because I don't want people to worry about me. But for sure I still make you guys worry in a way somehow. I like listening to others more than vice versa. Just say that's me being selfish. As you guys can see from the last couple of sentences from the last paragraph... sharing my feelings is one of my problems. I guess I just need more time...

As for the rest of you guys, new friends & old friends, everyone, I, thank you all. You might have inspired me, taught me things, made me see truth in things, etc... whatever it is/was, it could have changed my life or the way I'm living. I believe that you meet people for a reason. That reason could be good, bad, or even both. It could last forever, a month, or even a day. But overall, it's a step forward... a future... (oh geez, i have no idea where i'm taking this. I'm going to stop here haha)

This was supposed to be about my summer. I dont know how it ended up being about friends... I guess I'm trying to let my thoughts take me away when I write. I think it's better this way. But yes, back to my summer (a little quicker version). There's been high points and low points. High points: Cali, Seattle, Corvallis (even though it was deserted... it was nice), Church Camp (not LaVang's), hanging out w/ friends - movies, eat, etc... Low points: sitting at home watching dramas, anime, and playing games & being on facebook all day! Basically, being at home is my low point. And there has been a lot of LOW POINTS lately. Since summer is just summer - time to relax. I guess I can't hang out ALL the time. Plus, the laziness to plan or go out is in my blood. And don't really know who to hang out with since I don't want to hang out with the same people and make them go BROKE!!! haha. BUT the real reason is... DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO... *sigh* That's always the problem... which is sad.

Anyways, school is on its way. about 22 more days really to be freee. I want summer to end good. But we will see.... sorry for all the emo-ness and the bad typos/grammar. It's pretty late /early!